Posting this on my own page just in case it gets deleted from the original place I posted it.
Time for a grown woman conversation.
Someone posted an article about how women that are single and childless are the happiest women. The discussion went back and forth with different opinions, of course, and I said that it truly depends on the season of life that a woman is in whether that's true or not, as well as the circumstances that she marries and becomes a mother under.
In my early twenties, I was happy single and childless. In my late twenties, when my heart changed and I was ready for marriage and a family, I was no longer satisfied being single and childless, and check this out: I WAS HONEST WITH MYSELF ABOUT THAT.
I went on to say that I would not trade my most normal day as a wife and a mother for my most fabulous and glamorous day as a single woman, (and I had a damn good time as a single woman.)
In the conversation, I was then told that I was the exception and that marriage and motherhood made most women unhappy and that single and childless women actually were happier. So, here is my perspective on this...
I actually do not disagree that I am the exception, but I don't HAVE to be. (Also, let me add that I am NOT the exception in my social circle.) The only reason I might be considered as such is because we as women won't face the discomfort of our inner conflict when we come to the point in our lives that many of us (not all) DO want to be wives and mothers. (READ CAREFULLY, I'm specifically addressing women who DO WANT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN.)
Since we refuse to look in the mirror AND do the work, we don't cultivate the appropriate life skills to make the appropriate demands of or even IDENTIFY potential partners, thus we marry and have kids with poor partners, and then we blame the institution of marriage and motherhood on the fact that we were not prepared (because no one prepared us) for that season of life.
So, what we have now are women who are missionaries in discouraging other women from getting married and having children when that is their true heart's desire. That is not healthy. Most humans do want love and they want to procreate. Our modern society is extraordinarily shallow and driven by consumption.
There are many many MANY entities that thrive and make billions of dollars on women's unhappiness, our undesired singlehood (people spend more money when unhappy, especially women), AND our refusal to be honest with ourselves about what we really want. We try to drink, travel, and casual sex the truth away, but it never goes away. As a result, we turn around and find any two-bit article that makes us feel better about the deep void we feel in our lives instead of dealing with our s***, having courage and wisdom in mate selection, and giving ourselves a chance at a TRULY healthy marriage and motherhood experience.
There are honorable, wonderful men out there who want to be husbands and fathers and providers, and women miss them everyday, because they're not in the fantasy package of their choice. I've seen women push away amazing men on silliness or a technicality, and then turn around and give a man a baby who doesn't want her or the baby NOR DOES HE EVEN DESERVE IT. Then they go around and holler about how men are trash and motherhood sucks, totally ignoring the part they played in the process.
Ladies, we need to grow up. I'm here for the ladies who are ready to do just that.
I'm sure I'll have more to say on this later, but that's all for now.
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